Check out what the littlest love got into!?!? We found Sophia's old walker and dusted it off for the little monkey! Hardwood floors make for a lot of fun with big sister and maybe a couple minutes of peace for Mama?
Happy Memorial Day weekend! This weekend is bittersweet for me. On a year Chris is home we'd probably be going to the pool, maybe barbecuing with some friends and in the back of our minds remembering how lucky we are to not be one of the one's sacrificing this year, always paying tribute to those that are overseas. Chris has been gone Memorial Day weekend for three out of the past four years. Does it compare equally with missing Thanksgiving's and Christmas's? No. Does it make my stomach flop like when I think about how many of Sophia's birthday's he's missed in the past four years? No. But I vividly remember this weekend every deployment.
Weekend 1...Who doesn't love a good Memorial Day sale right? You know I do! My first Memorial Day weekend alone, I decided to take a then four month old Sophia shopping. Bad idea. It seemed that every single person in Southern California had the same idea and I was swimming in a sea of FAMILIES whose Dad's were THERE and VERY present and I felt myself sinking thinking, why am I doing this to myself. Cut to this new mama CRYING and missing Chris more than ever. Weekend 2...I remember thinking...'No, this year I am NOT going to shop. I'm going to stay at home with Sophia all weekend and ride out the 'lonely' storm at home. Little did I know that every commercial on the TV, every song on the radio and then every single thought in my mind was related to Chris being gone and I remember feeling so, so lonely...again.
But with deployments comes knowledge and with knowledge comes power.
Then there's this Memorial Day weekend...this Memorial Day weekend, I did a pre-lonely weekend vent to my friend Tracy, a seasoned Marine Wife who gives the very best advice and knows exactly how to make me laugh (hence the whole knowledge is power thing for there is nothing more powerful than a fellow Marine Wife) ...and we made plans and I vowed to stay busy. And then today, while running errands I noticed that the local country station here was doing a tribute to service members and their families with little tidbits from military family members along with some really amazing patriotic songs. You know me, a sucker for anything military related but one Marine Wife's commentary hit close to home. She said that while her Marine is overseas, she is not looking for any one's pity or for anyone to feel sorry for all that she goes through while he is gone. For she is doing exactly what she wants to be doing...standing proudly beside her Marine supporting him when he needs her to would not have it any other way.
I think that if you ask most Military wives they'd tell you the same thing. I know I would. It was a little 'moment' for me. A moment where I realized how much I had grown since that very first deployment. I don't write about my life as a Marine wife for pity. I don't vent because I want someone to feel sorry for me. I am so proud to be his Marine wife but I am passionate and emotional and on weekends like this, where I see so much gratitude for those in the Military...well, it tugs at my heartstrings and makes me want to hug Chris even more, to thank my very own Marine for his sacrifices. Do we at home sacrifice? Yes, absolutely but we've got it pretty good in comparison. I will say that although weekends like this make that seat at the table much more noticeable, I'm so happy to see that members of our Military are being acknowledged and appreciated by our fellow Americans. It's my love, my pride and my deepest gratitude for each and every sacrifice our Military families go through that get me through day to day. But yes, it is emotional for me to see this pride so publicly shared and to feel that my girls and I are a part of it. My tears are not tears of sadness. No, they are tears of pride.
We love you babe and miss you every day. I know soon we'll be together and I can't wait until then.